Have you ever felt like your mouth was a volcano that kept erupting and you had no control over it? I have! When I get stressed, when I’m sleep deprived, when I feel I’m being treated unfairly….Oh my! Basically when life happens. Sometimes it can be hard to keep my mouth shut….but it’s usually best. When you are stressed, tired or hurt what comes out of your mouth is usually not positive. But what should you do? Take a step back…. and wait. Ask yourself some questions like; What is upsetting me? Why? Am “I” being fair by insisting on having my way (emphasis on I)? Are facts or emotions guiding my actions and words? Do I have any control over the situation? Is the lack of control what’s really upsetting me? The list goes on and my vary with each situation but the key is to step back and evaluate. Give yourself (and the other person) a breather.
The illustration of a volcano is not far off! I can feel my emotions starting to boil just before my mouth erupts. So I try to put myself in time out. A time out makes you stop….it makes you take a step back and evaluate and that’s the secret to getting your mouth under control. If possible I go outside and walk. That always gives me time to clear my head and the exercise is good for me! I practice deep breathing, in through the nose and out through the mouth exhaling all the way to empty my lungs. Breath from your diaphragm. When breathing in this way, your stomach will expand, not your chest. When you are stressed or anxious your breathing becomes shallow causing your body to deplete itself of carbon dioxide too quickly which can cause a host of physical problems if done for too long. So, breathe…slowly…you will feel yourself start to relax….aaaaahhhhhhhhh. That’s better.
Next, I ask myself questions to get to the root of the problem. You have to find out what is causing the emotions that have got you on the brink of blowing up. Try to get as specific as you can and most of all BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF!!! The questions above are a good place to start, but like I said, each person is different. The key is to delve deep into what’s causing this reaction to the situation. It’s so important to be transparent and honest with yourself if you ever want to change. Remember, it’s okay to not be perfect. You are you. Give yourself grace to be human!
Sometimes it helps to write it out. So many times when I do this, I realize that the situation wasn’t nearly as big or as bad as I originally thought. Another reason for doing this is I can vent on paper instead of blowing up at the other person. It seems too simple to really work, but it does.
I’ve been pretty transparent in my post today, some may say too transparent… but that’s what I want to do. I want to be honest. I’m not perfect and I’m not always positive. I try to be but sometimes I slip but I’m much better than I used to be. That’s why I created this blog. To help others overcome the negative mindset. To create a healthy mind and a healthy body!
So guys, don’t be that volcano that spews all over everyone. Instead, be that flowing water that flows gently through the river of life.